My Hidden Self
by Bookmaniac1213
Summary: Clary is Anti-social and Homeschooled because of her dad. Jace is Anti-social and homeschooled because of his past. What will happen when they meet each other? Will they confide in each other? Or will they go on like they never meet? (It's a Clace story!) This is my first fanfiction so don't be to harsh!
1. Clary's Past

**Hey guys.. So this is my first fanfiction and I plan on making it long, it is not going to be a oneshot! I wanted to do something different from most of the fanfictions about Clary and Jace out there… So they are both homeschooled and basically on the same level! Please Review! I'll give you a virtual hug if you review!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter one

 **Clary POV**

"Clary lets go it's time for your counseling!" my mother Jocelyn yelled up the stairs. With a sigh I pulled on my jacket that I know I won't take off. I slowly make my way down the stairs to meet my mother by the door. We say goodbye to Luke, my stepdad, and walk out to get in the car. We ride to the counseling center with the radio playing quietly in the background, but we don't talk. Mom used to try to ask me how I felt or something like that but then she realized that I was giving her the same answers every time and that I wasn't really into the conversation. It's not just my mom; I don't really talk to anyone, only my counselor so I can make my mom happy. When we get to the Counseling center we walk in and I listen to music on my phone, I don't really pay attention to the song I just don't like the quietness of the lobby.

When I am called to go back to the little room to talk to Tessa, my counselor, 10 minutes have passed. 10 long, boring minutes staring at the beige walls of the lobby, hearing my music in my ear, but not really listening to it, I get stared at for wearing a jacket when it is such a warm day, but I don't really care, I would get stared at if I didn't have this jacket on even more. When I get back into the room it takes 5 more minutes for Tessa to actually come in. We start the conversation the way we always do. Going over my past. She always makes me tell her the story as if saying it over and over again to the same person is going to help. I settle myself onto the small couch before I begin.

"My dad beat me from when I was 8 until when I was 13, I'm 16 now. My mom divorced my dad when she found out what he was doing to me. I have plenty of scars left on me from him beating me so it wasn't really difficult to get him put in jail. When he was first in jail I was really scared and nervous that he was going to escape and come after me and my mom for putting him and jail so I started cutting myself. I'm homeschooled because my mom was afraid that people would start asking about my scars and I would freak out again. My step-dad is Luke, he got married to my mom a year after she divorced my dad. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I'm afraid that if I have to talk to people that they will judge me or ask me about my scars. I always make sure that when I'm in public I dress to cover up my scars."

Tessa looked at me with a sad expression briefly before her face went back to having no expression as it usually does. She then proceeded to ask me the usual questions. "How do you feel about your dad?"

I answered the way I always did. "I hate him. What he did to me was unforgivable and he will never be able to erase the marks and make it better."

"How would you feel about going back to public school?" Tessa continues.

"I don't want to go back to public school. It would only make things worse. People would bully me for my scars and my past once they found out. If I did go I wouldn't tell them about it and for that they would gossip and start rumors about why I don't talk about myself, then bullying would be added to my list of problems."

"What would do if you had to see your dad again?"

What? That was a new one. "I don't really know what I would do. I don't have to worry about that though, because it is never going to happen." She seemed to be thinking about my response before speaking again.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today, you can go now Clary." With that I silently get up, making sure I have my phone with me, and walk out to my mom in the lobby.

"Hey sweetie, how did it go?" She asks

"Same as usual" I reply "This time she decided to try and sneak a new question in but I caught it."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks

"No I just want to go home and take a nap. Okay?"

She presses her lips together. "Alright, let's go then."

We walk out and get in the car. Again we ride without speaking, the music from the radio being the only sound in the car.

"I will wake you up for dinner okay honey?"

"Alright mom. Tell Luke I'm taking a nap, we don't want him to freak out thinking I ran away or anything." Luke is a cop in the New York Police department so he is pretty suspicious.

"Okay I will."

I went upstairs to my room, shut the door, took my jacket off, climbed under the covers of my bed, and quickly fell into the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness.


	2. Jace's History

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, the only thing I own are my own ideas. This goes for Chapter one also, seeing as I forgot to put a disclaimer on that. Sorry in advance if this chapter is on the shorter side.. I'm working on writing longer chapters! Also I just wanted to say now that I didn't grow up like this. This is all purely imagination. As always Please Review! Reviews make me happy!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter Two: My History

 **Jace POV**

 _*Start of Dream*_

 _I look around and I'm in Alec's house, at first I wonder why I am here and how I got here. Then I remember that I am staying the night here, with Alec, my parents are at home, safe. Just then, I hear Alec's mom, Maryse, call us for dinner. I turn around and see Alec motioning me to follow him; I walk down the stairs behind him and go into the kitchen. I am greeted by Izzy, Robert, Maryse, and baby Max. We sit down to eat our dinner; I look to see that Maryse has made pizza and breadsticks for us, sweet!_

" _So boys, what movies are you planning on watching?" asks Robert_

" _I was thinking that we could just watch Shrek, then Monsters Inc., and then Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Alec answers, looking at me to see if I want to watch those movies as well._

" _Yeah, sure, sounds great." I reply_

" _Ooh, can I watch too?" Izzy asks excitedly._

" _Of course you can, you're my sister." Alec answers her._

" _Yeah, I don't see why not." I say_

" _Great, I'll make you kids some snacks later so you don't get hungry." Maryse assures us._

 _We all rush to finish our pizza and breadsticks so that we can go start our movie night. While I'm eating I think about how nice Maryse and Robert are. Most parents that I've meet wouldn't make pizza and breadsticks, they would order them! Maryse seems to appreciate things that are homemade though, she reminds me a little bit of my mom. My mom's name is Celine, she is really nice like Maryse is, and she also likes to make things from scratch. They both seem to have an awful lot of old things sitting around on the shelves too. Mom doesn't like it when I touch the old cups and cards and books and pictures that she has in the house, but sometimes I try to just so I can see what they are for. I don't think I'm going to try to touch any of Maryse' things though, since I am a guest._

 _When we all finish we go up two sets of stairs to the movie room, man this house is big! Two sets of stairs? Movie room? Seriously is this place a mansion or something? We go and sit in the movie room and I look around to see that it is like a movie theater. There is a big screen in front of the seats, the seats are exactly like what you would find in a theater, there is a popcorn machine, and a fountain pop machine. We set the movies up and then pick our seats; I choose the one on the end so that I can get out easily if I need to._

" _Which movie do you want to start with?" Asks Alec._

" _I was actually wondering if we could watch Barbie and the Nutcracker?" Izzy said._

 _Alec looks as if he might throw up the pizza and breadsticks he just ate. " N-no!" he stuttered, "This is a man's movie night! We are watching the movies we chose!" Alec and Izzy continue arguing like this for a few minutes, I felt awkward so I went to look at what drinks the Fountain pop machine had._

 _Suddenly I heard a phone ringing downstairs, someone answers it and I strain to hear what the person in this house was saying. I couldn't make out what the person was saying so I glance behind me to see that Izzy and Alec are still Arguing, they are. I sneak out of the room and down the stairs to the voice, I can now tell that it is Maryse talking on the phone, but still I can't tell what they are saying. Maryse suddenly gets a sad and worried expression on her face and goes to talk to Robert. I hear them talking about me and saying that they have to go and get us kids to talk to us, me in particular. I run back up the stairs hoping that I get back to the movie room before Maryse and Robert get there. I arrive and plop down into my seat with seconds to spare._

" _Hey dude, where were you?" Alec asks_

" _Yeah, we were about to go looking-" Izzy gets cut off Robert and Maryse as they walk in._

" _Jace, we need to talk to you alone real quick." Robert says. After receiving a few worried, confused, and curious looks from both Alec and Izzy, I follow Robert and Maryse out into the hall._

" _Okay, Jace, we have something difficult to tell you, and we don't like it either, so please just try to stay as calm as possible." What is this? Do I have to go home now or something? It's barely 10:00, and I'm supposed to be staying the night._

" _Okay, so sometimes people aren't very nice Jace, not very nice at all." Maryse started._

 _Robert gives a look to his wife and then continues what she started, "And… Some people decided to not be nice to you parents tonight Jace..."_

 _Huh? What are they trying to tell me? Did something happen to my parents? "What? Are my parents alright? What happened?"_

" _Someone broke into your house tonight Jace, your parents were home.."_

" _Okay… so what happened? Did my parents call the cops? Did the cops get there in time?"_

" _Jace… your parents are dead… The people that robbed your house killed them…"_

 _*End of Dream*_

 **TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM UNTIL END OF CHAPTER!**

I wake up in a cold sweat. This dream, really? That was six years ago! The memory though… The memory is as fresh in my mind as it was the day that I got told. I have lived with the Lightwoods ever since, they are the only ones that wanted to take me in, and the only ones that try to help me in every way possible. I look around my room, like I always do when I wake up from one of these dreams to let myself see that I'm safe, in my room, and that my parents are in a better place. Unfortunately, as I do so my eyes catch on my razor, the razor that I use after every one of these dreams. I've told myself that I am going to stop but the temptation is just to strong now, with my worst memory fresh in my mind.

Sighing deeply, I get up and go retrieve my razor, each time I drag it across my skin, another bad memory surfaces, like the constant torments from bullies when I went back to school after I lost my parents. Every time one of the torments comes back, another reason I'm homeschooled comes back, another reason I'm anti-social comes back. Then I think about the reason all of this started… My parents. Would they really want me to be doing this to myself? It is with that thought that I calm down enough to put my razor down and walk away. I look at the new angry red marks on my arms, and they aren't that deep, mostly shallow, so I just lie back in bed knowing that sleep won't come. Even if sleep would come, I can almost guarantee that it would not be a peaceful sleep, so I'm glad that it is gone for the day, or night, whichever it is right now. I don't bother looking at the clock, because all that I really want to do right now is sleep, I don't want to have to worry about how long I have until I have to go downstairs to eat breakfast and say goodbye to my siblings until after school, I just want to think. So I lay on my bed with only one thought racing across my mind, "Is there anyone else out there like this? Anyone else so messed up that they can't even go to school?"


	3. Ultimatum

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments, the only thing I own are my own ideas. (I already feel like a broken record for saying this twice now!) If you have any ideas or something that you would like to see happen in the story put it in your review! I would like to get some more reviews, maybe 5 from this chapter! So review and tell me what you think!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter Three: Ultimatum

 **Clary POV**

I wake up to my mom gently shaking my shoulders, "Clary, wake up it's time for Dinner, we made your favorite."

They made my favorite? That's weird, they normally only make me my favorite when there is something that they need to talk to me about, and they don't think I'm going to love the topic. I glance up. "Give me a few minutes to get down there." I say with a sigh.

I get up, pull on my jacket, and yank my hair into a ponytail, that way it can't get in my face while I'm eating. I brace myself for the worst, knowing that it can't possibly go well. My favorite dinner is a time consuming one, not to mention expensive. I follow the scent of fettuccini with chicken Alfredo to the dining room, slowly walking down the stairs, still dreading the conversation that we will have when I get there, despite my favorite meal being served.

When I finally reach the table in the dining room, I see that mom already put the food out on the table, in addition to the Alfredo; there are breadsticks, green beans with bacon bits, fruit cocktail, cottage cheese, and banana pudding for desert. Whatever they are going to say, it must be really bad if we are eating all of this, I don't even like eating, but I put small portions on my plate to make my mom and Luke happy. I don't call Luke dad or step-dad because I actually like Luke, and I hate my dad, it would be an insult to Luke if I called him dad or step-dad.

We eat the meal in silence, uncomfortable, awkward, silence, with grave expression on both mom and Luke's faces; they seem to be extremely uncomfortable about something, all though I'm not sure what. As I eat, I am very careful. I'm really a rather picky eater. I don't eat my food if it is touching. I have to eat the hot food first, then the cold food, in the order that they are in around the plate. I have to completely finish one part of the meal before I move on to another part, and in between each part I take a drink of water to make sure that I rinse any food left in my mouth down.

When I decide that they aren't planning on actually talking to me about anything I get up to leave. I almost get out of the dining room before I am stopped again.

"Uh… Clary, there is something that we need to talk about." Luke stated. Mom gave him a look before looking at me too. There it is, I think.

"I figured that much out, the only time we ever eat my favorite meal is when you have something bad that you want to tell me… so out with it." I reply. They both seem a little shocked at my outburst, I usually only answer with one word or two when I'm talking to mom and Luke, for Tessa I give actual answers only because if I don't then she will tell my parents that I need to go back to regular school, and for everyone else, I don't even really answer at all.

"I think you should sit back down before we start the conversation, sweetheart." Mom says. I shrug, get another glass of water, and walk into the living room. If they are going to make me sit, I'm going to be comfortable, so I sit and get comfy on the couch.

"Okay, I'm sitting, I'm comfortable, I have water, what is it?" I question them. Again they look shocked at my words but this is getting really annoying, they could've talked to me at dinner, but they chose to put it off until after we all ate, and now they are still putting it off a bit. As I'm thinking that I guess I shiver or something, because my mom comes up and drapes a blanket around my shoulders before sitting on the loveseat with Luke.

"Before we get serious, I just wanted to say that we also make you that meal on your birthday. Clary, it isn't just for serious talks like this." Luke pointed out. There they go again with trying to procrastinate this conversation, it is obviously important or they wouldn't have gone to the lengths that they have to try to get me in a good mood before they tell me.

"Can you guys just tell me what you thought was important enough to try to get me in a good mood before telling me?" I ask, about 99% sure that my annoyance is clear on my face.

"Clary, before we tell you this, we need you to keep an open mind about things." Mom said.

I roll my eyes and look at her so that she would continue, when she doesn't I feel the need to prompt her. "Well, are you going to tell me what all of this fuss is about or not, because right now I'm leaning towards you saying you aren't and then I can just go up to my room and draw, which by the way is really what I want to be doing right now." Drawing. I think about all of the things that it does for me briefly. Drawing calms me down. Drawing helps me sort things out. Drawing helps me clear my mind. Drawing helps me make decisions, and stops me from doing things that I might regret. When I am drawing, I'm in a complete different world as long as I'm focused, and I always want to be in that world- my thoughts are interrupted when my mother starts speaking again.

"Clary, we talked to Tessa." My mother begins

"And?" I ask

"Tessa thinks that you are anti-social" Luke continues

"Okay… But we already knew that. I've been anti-social ever since Valentine." I say. It's true too. Ever since my 'father' started beating me, I had been straying farther and farther away from people, worried about what they would ask, and how I would react when they ask their questions.

Mom answers. "Yes, dear, but…" She hesitates. "Tessa thinks that you have become so anti-social that it is dangerous."

"Dangerous? How could being like this be the thing that is dangerous for me?" I'm on the verge of tears "What's dangerous for me, is being around people. I don't know how I would react if anyone asked me about my scars. What I do know is that once they found out the truth, and if you are going to say that I have to go back to public school they will find out eventually, they will start bullying me, they will start to take away what little happiness I have, then things will get a lot worse, because I'm not sure that my usual, harmless, drawing will be enough then. Drawing is barely containing what I have to deal with now, if we add more too it… I don't know what I will do."

"Clary, it has become dangerous because you now believe that it isn't even safe for you to go to the grocery store. How are you going to survive when you live on your own and have to do your own shopping, and go to work every day? How are you going to get through collage living in a small space with someone else, if you are afraid to even show your arms? Let's talk about another that this is dangerous for you, while we are at it. Clary, it was 92 degrees (F) outside today, and you went to your counseling in a jacket. Do you even have an idea of how dangerous that is? You could've dehydrated, your body could have gotten overheated, and there are so many ways that this is hazardous to your health physically as well as mentally!"

Oh. So now it was Luke's turn to talk? To tell me how dangerous my mental illness is? Does he think that I don't know how dangerous this is? Why does he think I wear thin jackets with only tank tops beneath them? Why does he think that when I go to the store with mom I make sure that we have a list so that we can make sure that we get everything in one go? So we don't forget anything? I mean sure it isn't exactly living… still it is better than the alternative, which happens to be getting stared at and possible questioned everywhere I go! "So what are you trying to say Luke? Because I sure have no idea."

"Clary, what I'm trying to say is that, you have to start being around other people your age, you can't just lock yourself up in your room all the time. The only times that you leave your bedroom now is when you have to come eat, or when your mother and I tell you that we are leaving, and you have to come, or that you have to go somewhere like consoling." Luke now looks very aggravated with me. I don't know why he would be though, has he even stopped to consider how he would feel if he were in my position?

"So… What are you going to force me to do this time?" I ask. When he gets like this I always end up getting forced to do something that I don't want to do. When I look into his eyes, I can see that he is dead serious about whatever it is that he is about to say.

"I'm not forcing you to do anything; your mother and I are giving you a choice."

"What are my options?" I'm dreading the answer, so I quickly try, once again to prepare myself for the worst.

"Well, as you know, you start school back up on Monday, and on the first day of school, every year, you are exempt from you schoolwork that day if you go to a meet and greet on the first day. At the meet and greet there will be other homeschool students in the area, you will be directed to rooms based on age group and neighborhood, so you will get to meet people that are your age and live close to you also." He seems proud of himself for thinking of this by this point. "And I've decided to give you this as a choice because every year you have decided to stay home and do the work instead of going and socializing. If you choose to go to this event, then you should know that you will not be allowed to wear a jacket or a long sleeve shirt. You will also have to make at least one friend in the neighborhood that is your age, and you must go hang out with them at least 5 times after the meet and greet, each of these meeting will have to be at least 3 hours long, and I will be in contact with the other persons parents to make sure that you meet my standards."

Exactly! Why do you think I always stay home, because people will ask me about my scars! I'm probably going to choose the second option, whatever it is, it can't be anything worse than this right?

"What is the second option?" I ask, hesitantly and quietly, but still.

"Your second option is, you will have to go to public school again."

Okay, I had to have heard that wrong. "What?"

"You will have to go back to public school if you choose not to go to the meet and greet on Monday." He repeats

Okay… So I did hear him correctly. Man! That is definitely worse than the first option! "I'm going to need some time to think about it."

"You have until tomorrow to make up your mind." My mom says calmly. Up until that point, I had forgotten that she was here. I can't believe that she would just sit there and let him give me that choice! She knows better than anyone why I don't talk to people!

I sigh in frustration and head up to my room; it sure is going to be a long night. When I get in my room I head straight for my sketchbook and pencils so I can start drawing. I try to draw many things, but I don't really get into the drawing like I normally do when they help me with my life. I try drawing the tree outside my window, the pile of books on my desk, the way my bed is made, the sky outside, it had turned dark, and finally a self-portrait. None of these things help me escape into my special world. Finally, I get to a point where I can't take it anymore, I do something that I swore to myself I would never do, ever. I walk into my ensuite bathroom with shaking hands. I pick up one of my new razors, and slowly drag it across my arm. The first few cuts are deep, but then I start to think about what I'm doing. I'm only giving them more scars to judge me for… With that thought I am able to put the razor down, grab some bandages, and walk back into my bedroom. After I'm done an image comes into my mind. I quickly grab my sketchbook and my pencil and let my hand move itself across the paper, before I know it; I am also grabbing my chalks. When I am finally done I look at the paper and see that I have drawn a boy. The boy looks about my age. He has golden skin, golden hair, and the most interesting golden eyes I have ever seen. Scratch that; the only golden eyes I have ever seen. I wonder why I drew this boy, out of all of the things or people that I could have drawn, why would I draw a stranger that I haven't even so much as seen in the grocery store.

I suddenly feel like I have to go to that meet and greet. I mean, obviously I was going to choose the meet and greet over going back to public school. This is different though I suddenly feel almost like I want to go to the meet and greet. Only one thought is racing across my mind as I lay down to go to sleep. What if I meet someone there that will understand how I feel?


	4. Conversations

**Another Chapter! Once again I don't own the characters, the only thing I own are my own ideas. I hope you enjoy this chapter! As always Review! Reviews make me want to write longer chapters faster! Reviews are also the reason that I update every day! Tell me if there is anything that you want to see happen in the story, as long as it doesn't mess with the plot I will try my best to add it! I think Clary and Jace are finally going to meet next chapter! Please be looking for a new chapter for this story every day!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter Four: Conversations

 **Jace POV**

Maryse comes in and gets me to tell me that it is time to go down to breakfast, and to say hi to Alec and Izzy before they go to school. I have been lying in my bed for about an hour when this happens, not sleeping just thinking, thinking about the same question for the entire time that I was thinking. _Is there anyone else out there that is so messed up they can't even go to school?_ As I was thinking about that I was thinking about what I would do if there was. I was thinking about what their story would be like.

Why public school decided to have the first day of school be on a Friday, I'll never understand. I mean what is the point, really! I know it has been a while since I've gone to public school, okay more than while, but don't they start to tell you all of the rules and stuff on the first day? Then they continue on the second day? Why would they want have days in between that? It just doesn't make sense to me. With a sigh I heave myself off my bed, pull on a shirt and walk downstairs to see my siblings off to school.

When I finally get into the kitchen, where they all are eating breakfast, I pour myself a cup of coffee knowing that I won't be going back to sleep. After I set my coffee down on the table I go to get my breakfast. Today my breakfast is simply some Fruity Pebble cereal, I really don't feel like doing anything more elaborate or that actually involves cooking. Also, I'm pretty hunger and don't want to have to wait on food to cook.

As I sit down I look over at Izzy, and no not in that way you perverts, she is my sister! As I'm looking at her I'm trying to decide if she is dressed appropriately for school, she is dressed like school is a fashion show, as usual. She is one of the most popular girls in school apparently. She is dressed in short denim shorts, like really short, there is no way I'm going to let her go to school in those. She is also wearing a strapless white crop top? - _Is that what it's called?-_ with a Sweetheart neckline? _\- again is that what it's called?-_ she has a rose colored cardigan on over it. She also has on a bronze colored choker with bronze bracelets. She also has on tall white heeled shoes. The toes on them are open- _What is that all about?_ There is one thing that I know for sure, she is not going to school in that. "Hey Iz, I hate to burst your bubble, but you can't go to school wearing that?"

"Why not! I have a boyfriend Jace, I'm fine. I have to get to school early because I have to meet some of my friends and get my schedule." She says. "Oh and Alec, you might want to come too, Magnus will be disappointed if you don't get there early." With that, she walked out of the house to go to her car.

Magnus… Okay, I guess I need to explain this. My brother, Alec, is gay. Magnus is his boyfriend. I know why Magnus wants Alec there early. Magnus is… let's say very flashy with his clothing and hair. He wears glitter and rather extragant clothing. I think him and Izzy think on the same terms about clothing, even if it might be the only thing other than people that they want to see as couples. Magnus likes to try to give Alec some pizazz in his clothes, which are mostly plain jeans and old sweaters. I have to admit, I would never have thought that the two of them would've made a good couple.

Alec gets up from the table and waves goodbye at everyone. We all smile, wave back and say goodbye to him. I don't really know why we say goodbye, he'll be back sometime tonight, they both will. They typically both go over to their friends' houses after school. I guess that this would be a good time to say that Izzy is on the cheerleading team and Alec is on the football team. They have tried to get me to go make friends and hang out with them and their teams before, but I always decline. I sigh and tell Robert and Maryse, I still don't like calling them mom and dad, and they understand that, that I'm going upstairs to the music room for a while. They tell me that they will come looking for me at lunch. I tell them that if I'm not in the music room then I'm either in the movie room or my bedroom. They say okay and I head off.

I decide to go to my bedroom first so I can shower and change. Yes, I know, all that time that I spent just sitting there in bed thinking, I could've done that already, but that's just the thing. I was thinking, in peace and quiet, which doesn't come around often. I don't really get much uninterrupted time when I'm awake, Robert and Maryse are always checking to make sure that I'm okay. After I pull underwear, a plain black t-shirt, and some jeans out of my closet, I get in the shower. I wash my body with my usual Lemon scented body wash, don't ask me why I use lemon, I just do. After about 10 minutes in the shower I get out, dry off, and put my clothes on.

Once I'm dressed I decide that I need to head to the gym. I put a note on my bedroom door saying where I am so that they won't freak out. I know that it sounds like I'm really rich, but I'm not, I'm just an orphan that got adopted by a wealthy family. I turn on my music and exercise for a bit, not really caring that I'm wearing jeans. After I'm done exercising I head to the movie room. I get a pop from the fountain pop machine and put in _The Hunger Games: Catching Fire_ it's one of my favorite movies. After I'm done watching that I just sit there in the cinema seats, thinking again. Why I'm thinking so much today, I don't really know. I think about what I would do if I ever met someone that would truly accept me for who I am. Someone that accepts all of my scars doesn't push me to talk about my past if I don't want to, and most of all, understands what it is like to fear going in public. I doubt that I will ever find someone like that, and even if I did, who is to say that they would even talk to me? If they are so scared of going in public and socializing, then why would they? Why would they just drop that to talk to me? Me? Of all people.

I don't know how long I sit there pondering about this but it is apparently a while because Robert comes in to tell me that it is time for lunch, I ask what they made, more for curiosity then hoping that it will be my favorite, because I don't have a favorite, I like everything they cook. I follow him down to the kitchen quietly. When we arrive, I see that they have cooked macaroni and cheese, with hot dogs cut up in it. Strange, this was the first meal that we ate after they adopted me.

We start off eating the meal in silence. After about 2 minutes, Maryse speaks up. "So, Jace, there is something that we want to talk to you about. We don't want you to freak out and we want you to keep an open mind about it." I just look at them knowing that one of them would continue, they don't beat around the bush about things.

"Alright, Jace," Robert starts. "We're starting to get worried about you. You hardly leave the house, at first we thought it was just because you were dealing with what happened to your parents and everything, but now we are really starting to get worried about Jace."

"What are you saying?" I ask, confusion clear on my face.

"Jace, we think you should go to the school meet and greet on Monday, It'll be a great chance to meet homeschooled kids that are your age and live in the area, some of them might be closer than you think, and there might even be one that understands you and accepts you more than you think." Maryse says.

"Also, we want you to find someone there that you would be willing to spend more time with, because we want you to hang out with them more after the meet and greet, this kind of behavior for a boy your age just isn't normal." Robert says.

I'm not a fan of this, but I'm not going to argue with them after everything that they have done for me, and this is really the only thing that they have asked me to do for them. "Alright, I'll go. I'll try to make a friend."

After we finish eating and finish our conversation, I go up to the music room. I want to play music, it'll help me think. Before I make my way out of the kitchen Maryse calls "Who knows Jace, maybe you'll even meet a girl."

 _Yeah right, at least Izzy would be happy with that though, she has been badgering me to get out there and meet someone for ages now._ When I get upstairs and in the music room, I sit down at the piano and start to play. Suddenly I'm at a complete blank as to what song to play, or what I'm going to write, this is strange, this has never happened before. I guess my mind is just to active right now for the music. I go back into my room and think. If I did want a girlfriend, what would I want her to look like? I think about many possible combinations, but none of them seem quite right to me. I've never really thought about this kind of thing before. Suddenly I'm drifting into a nap, my last conscious thoughts are a silent prayer that this nap will be peaceful, unlike the last time I slept.

 **Sorry I'm not updating this at my usual time of the day! I'm also sorry for the short chapter. Anyway , what did you think? Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me in a review! Also I'm posting Izzy's first day of school outfit on my profile!**


	5. Chapter 5 sneek peek

**Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Once again, I'm sorry that I didn't update at my usual time last chapter. I want to thank everyone for all of the reviews that I've been getting! I Hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to review! I'm so super sorry that it took me so long to update! I'll try to make this chapter and the next few extra-long to try and make up for it! As always let me know if there is something that you want to see happen in the story. Thank you so much for reading my story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter five: invitations

 **Clary POV**

 _IN A DREAM!_

 _Well… I'm here. I hope that they are happy. I sure don't want to be here, but they seemed super ecstatic to go and talk to the other parents with homeschooled kids while I was being taken to the room for my 'zone' and age group. I think we all know that I'm not going to talk to anyone first. If they want to talk, then they can come to me and start the conversation. I'm going to be drawing. I already hate this and we aren't even to the room yet. After we walk in silence for a few minutes the lady escorting me to my torture chamber speaks up. "I can tell that you don't want to do this. I think it will help you though. Many of the kids that are homeschooled become antisocial after a while of being homeschooled, and you've been homeschooled for a while." I see her trying to look discreetly at the still red cut on my wrist, I tug my sleeves down more so they are now covering half of my hands. "Anyways, here we are. Oh, and I'll be taking that." She says looking at my drawing book and pencils_

" _Why? Why do you need to take it? What makes you think that you have the right to take my stuff? I've never even known you before today, literally just the past 10 minutes, and I already don't like you, so what makes you think that I would give you my things?" I question her. Seriously! Who does she think she is!_

" _I have a note and orders from your parents, they said to not let you go in with anything that you could use to hide from other people, you could hide behind your sketchbook, people wouldn't really want to talk to you because you are working on your drawings."_

" _fine." I push the objects at her._

" _Okay, you need to go in now."_

 _I look up to see that we have arrived at the door, it looks just like a normal door but it is somehow more menacing then all of the other doors that I have encountered in my life. I take a deep breath to prepare myself before I put my hand on the door knob…_


	6. invitations

**Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Once again, I'm sorry that I didn't update at my usual time last chapter. I want to thank everyone for all of the reviews that I've been getting! I Hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to review! I'm so super sorry that it took me so long to update! I'll try to make this chapter and the next few extra-long to try and make up for it! As always let me know if there is something that you want to see happen in the story. Thank you so much for reading my story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

My Hidden Self

Chapter five: invitations

 **Clary POV**

 _IN A DREAM!_

 _Well… I'm here. I hope that they are happy. I sure don't want to be here, but they seemed super ecstatic to go and talk to the other parents with homeschooled kids while I was being taken to the room for my 'zone' and age group. I think we all know that I'm not going to talk to anyone first. If they want to talk, then they can come to me and start the conversation. I'm going to be drawing. I already hate this and we aren't even to the room yet. After we walk in silence for a few minutes the lady escorting me to my torture chamber speaks up. "I can tell that you don't want to do this. I think it will help you though. Many of the kids that are homeschooled become antisocial after a while of being homeschooled, and you've been homeschooled for a while." I see her trying to look discreetly at the still red cut on my wrist, I tug my sleeves down more so they are now covering half of my hands. "Anyways, here we are. Oh, and I'll be taking that." She says looking at my drawing book and pencils_

" _Why? Why do you need to take it? What makes you think that you have the right to take my stuff? I've never even known you before today, literally just the past 10 minutes, and I already don't like you, so what makes you think that I would give you my things?" I question her. Seriously! Who does she think she is!_

" _I have a note and orders from your parents, they said to not let you go in with anything that you could use to hide from other people, you could hide behind your sketchbook, people wouldn't really want to talk to you because you are working on your drawings."_

" _fine." I push the objects at her._

" _Okay, you need to go in now."_

 _I look up to see that we have arrived at the door, it looks just like a normal door but it is somehow more menacing then all of the other doors that I have encountered in my life. I take a deep breath to prepare myself before I put my hand on the door knob…_

 _Wait I think, do I really want to do this? I mean, I get that I'm here and that I have to go in and be here, but do I really think that I can do this without my sketchbook? No. I can't that's all there is too it. I cannot do this without my sketchbook, I simply have to have my sketchbook. Maybe I could give her my phone instead? It has a password on it, no one would guess it. Its worth a shot._

" _okay look, I get that I'm not supposed to have anything that I can hide behind, but I need my sketch book. So, I'll make you a deal. If you give me my sketchbook back and let me take it in there with me, then I will give you my phone and not fight it at all."_

 _She seems to be considering the offer, "Okay, I guess that is okay, you could hide behind your phone more then you could your sketch book." Haha! Yes! My plan has worked!_

" _Awesome, so if you could just give me my sketchbook and my pencil then I will give you my phone, and then I will go in that room with all of the other people that I don't know and don't want to talk to."_

" _Okay then, Clary, here is your sketchbook and pencils, now give me your phone."_

" _Alright, here." I give her my phone, and she seems really surprised that I actually did just hand her my phone and that I didn't try to argue with her or anything._

" _Alright, well, I'll just leave you to it. I guess you aren't going to try and sneak out or not go in that room, because I will just give it to your parents and let them know why I'm giving them your phone if you do." With that, she walked away._

 _I take a moment to mentally prepare myself before I walk into the room. When I do, I just go over to a couch and sit on it by the end. I would have preferred a chair, but they were all taken. I focus on drawing a new sketch, I just let my hands guide the pencil across the paper without really looking at what I'm drawing. I finish the sketch about twenty minutes later, and I get ready to look at it. I'm interrupted when someone walks into the room, since I was the last one to walk in the room, I look up because I didn't think anyone else was going to come in, there were already quite a few people in here. When the person enters the room, I do a double take just to make sure, it is the boy that I drew the last time that I drew. The Golden Boy, the one with golden eyes, hair, and skin. I thought he was fake, I mean he actually exists? I suddenly look at my sketchbook only to have my fear confirmed, I had drawn him again. Why though? That's what I can't figure out…_

I wake up suddenly jolted out of my dream. Wait…my dream? That was horrifying. It was more of a nightmare then a dream really. I mean am I going crazy? First I draw this random guy and color him to my image of perfection in real life when I'm depressed about going to this event for school. Then in a dream when I'm at the stupid school event, I draw him again, and not only did I draw him, I saw him walking in the door, and I think I got maybe a tad bit less depressed when he walked in. Seriously what is going on with me! I think I'm going crazy! I just need some time to think about all of this right?

I get up and I go to my ensuite bathroom. What better place to think then in the shower? I mean, come on, nobody is going to interrupt you when you're in the shower! I turn the temperature to the hottest possible; I plan on showering until the hot water runs out. I step in and I start my thinking. Why am I suddenly drawing, and dreaming about this nonexistent person? I mean, he is good looking; even I have to admit that, but why? He isn't real; I'm never going to actually see him in real life! Even if I did, it isn't like I would actually even think about talking to him, I mean maybe if we met at that dumb meet and greet, but he wouldn't talk to me even if we did. Why did I suddenly feel less depressed when he walked in and I saw him? Nobody can make me feel less depressed about my life; I know that for a fact. Finally why do I keep drawing him? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something, and if so, then what? I begin thinking about what I was doing and feeling both of the times that I drew him, once in real life and once in my dream, and the only similar thing is that dumb meet and greet! I've been thinking so deeply that I don't realize that the water is ice cold. Already? Someone else must be in the shower, but I'm not going to stand in this ice cold water so I decide to get out and dry off. I wrap myself up in a towel before I go into my room. When I get to my closet I dress in simple yoga pants and a t-shirt, I'm going to be home all day so why not? It's just going to be me and my parents in the house, probably. I decide to go down to the kitchen to see who is in the shower and stole my hot water. When I get there I see my mom and my dad so then that must mean…

As if on cue my brother, Jonathon, walks in. I cannot keep the shock off of my face; Jonathon is never home! He goes to regular school; he is one of the popular kids! He is always out with his friends or at sports practice, why is he home? Jonathon is a year older than me, and I often ask how we are so different, dad wasn't particularly kind to him either. "Hey Clary." He says to me before he registers the shock on my face.

"What are you doing here?" I know it sounds rude, but it is honestly the only thing that I could think of to say.

"Umm… I live here, that's why I'm here."

"No, I mean why are you here? You're never home, ever, so I'm wondering why the sudden change?"

"Oh, well I heard that you were going to that meet and greet, so I got permission to have a party here to help you get used to being around other people your age."

"You what!? Jonathon what were you thinking!"

"I was thinking that it was probably better if you didn't have a mental breakdown when you're at the school thing, because then you would have to go to public school."

I sigh, now that I think about it, I guess he is right. "Okay, but what do I have to do, how many people are coming, and when are they coming?"

"Well, the party is tonight, a lot of people are coming, some of my close friends are coming early, and… you are going to go with one of my teammates sisters, who happens to be a cheerleader, and she is going to teach you about parties and help you get ready. Actually she should be here soon to take you out. Go get changed, I don't want to imagine her reaction if she saw in that."

This girl is the first one that is close to my age that I've meet for a long time, and for some reason I want to impress her, despite the fact that I don't even know her name. "What is this girl's name?"

"Isabelle" He answers.

"Well, okay what should I wear to impress her, because it is still early, and I really don't want to have a headache all day?"

He doesn't even seem to have to think about this. "Wear something tight, and that would draw guys eyes, it would help if it were dark."

"Are you serious?"

"Isabelle's motto is dress to impress when it comes to clothes, and when it comes to shoes her motto is nothing less than 7 inches."

Wait… "So you're saying that I have to wear heels?"

"Yes, you should wear heels or she will have a fit."

I look to mom for help, but I see that she and Luke have left the room, I don't know where they got to, but they are gone. "Okay fine…" I hesitantly agree, he clearly has never seen me wearing heels. I go up to my room and I already know what I'm going to wear; the 'party clothes' that my mom bought me in hopes that I would use them someday. She actually bought me high heels, I mean really mom? Have you met me? **(Clary's 'party clothes' are in my profile)**

I run upstairs to my room to change and brush out my fire red curls. I don't know what to do with my hair after I brush it out so I just leave it down. I go into moms room and use some of her mascara. Then I go back and brave the shoes. I put them on my feet and decide that I should probably start going downstairs, because lets be honest that was going to take a while. When I get downstairs I decide to eat something really quick so I grab a granola bar. My brother walks back in and simply looks at me, then says "Nice, Isabelle will approve."

I was about to make a comment back, but then the doorbell rang. Jonathon looks at me with a smile that I don't like on his face. "I think I'll let you get it." He says.

Great, I think before I slowly stand up and try not to trip on my way to the door. When I get there the doorbell rings again. I open it and I instantly see why Jonathon made me dress like this. Isabelle is gorgeous. She is wearing tall white heels with a white skirt and pink crop top. I briefly notice a boy with blonde hair that looks about my age before Isabelle commands my attention. I let them in the house before she introduces herself.

"Hi I'm Isabelle, but you can call me Izzy. You must be Clary, Jonathon has told me a lot about you. This is my brother Jace, he is going to hang out with Jonathon while we are hanging out, don't worry about money, I've got you covered, ready to go?"

"Wait, you said Jace is going to hang out with Jonathon?" I looked at Jace after I said this and he seemed familiar I just couldn't understand why.

"Clary. Clary hello, are you ready to go?" I hear Izzy asking me.

"Oh yeah, right. Sorry." I say before I follow Izzy out of the house.


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter. I also want to thank everyone that reviewed my last chapter, I got 8 reviews. I know that doesn't seem like much, but this is my first story, and that was only chapter six. I also don't know if I have done this yet or not, but I want to thank everyone for reading my story, I really do appreciate it. Can we try for 10 reviews on this chapter? Please review so that I know what you guys think of my story; I get more inspiration that way. Also, if there is something that you guys want to see happen in the story and it won't mess with the plot feel free to let me know in your review and I will try to add it. I also put in a bit of Izzy POV as a treat for you guys. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I Don't own the characters**

My Hidden Self

Chapter 6: Familiar

 **Izzy POV**

 _On the phone with Jonathon (Izzy/_ _ **Jonathon**_ _)_

 _Hey_

 **Hey, so what's up?**

 _What makes you think something is up?_

 **I know that we're friends and all, but you never call me unless you need something, you just come over if you want to hang out or most of the times come with me after school since I hang out with Alec a lot.**

 _Wow Jonathon that hurt, really._

 **Sorry, but it's true. Anyways what did you want?**

 _We need to talk. It's important._

 **My kind of important or your kind?**

 _Well, I'm saying that it's important so how about you just shut-_

 **How about I what? Shut up? Haha, okay Izzy, but if it is about trying to get me to let you take me shopping then-**

 _It isn't! It isn't! This is way more important, which is saying something coming from me._

 **Yeah, it really is. Okay what is it?**

 _EEEEEEK! Okay. So you know my brother Jace?_

 **Yes….**

 _Well… you know how he is homeschooled and totally lonely and how we keep talking about how he needs a girlfriend, but anytime that we would try to tell him, he would insist that no girl would understand what he is going through and no girl would accept him?_

 **Yes… Izzy what are you getting at? It's late I want to go to bed.**

 _Well.. I was thinking and I realized that you know the perfect girl for him, and even though I haven't met her yet I know that she is just perfect for him!_

 **Really, and who is this perfect girl?**

 _Well, out of everyone that I know you are closest to her._

 **Izzy…**

 _Jonathon, its Clary. She is perfect for him._

 **No, she isn't Jace and Clary aren't going to be together.**

 _Jon, think about it, look at the facts. They both have scars, they both have depression, they both don't like being around other people a lot, and they both feel like no one else understands. Jonathon we have to try. I can't just keep looking at Jace with a blank sad look in his eyes. It is obvious that he is missing something, someone. I'm sure that Clary is too._

 **Izzy, what if it only makes things worse? What if them being around each other only make their depression worse?**

 _Jonathon, I honestly don't think that there is much that could do that, and both of our parents want them to be around other people their age too, and you know that it's true, so don't deny it. I just… I think that they can help each other, and what's the harm in trying? I'm just asking to arrange something, like a party or something for them to meet. It doesn't really have to be a party but I just think that they need to meet._

 **We can have a party; I'll get permission for it here. If we're going to do this, I'm going to get something out of it.**

 _Cool, I'll be over tomorrow morning to take Clary Shopping, then you can spend some time with Jonathon, oh and we need to have the party tomorrow night._

 **If I agree then can I go to bed?**

 _Yes, after you get permission for us to have the party tomorrow and for me to take Clary out._

 **Alright, deal. I'm going to go do that, then go to bed. Goodnight.**

 **And then the call ended**

YES! Is all I can think. I get to meet Clary. I've wanted to meet Clary for a really long time, ever since Jonathon told me about her actually. I have literally been longing to take her shopping; I really want to give her a makeover and she will be totally perfect for Jace, I just know she will. I have to make sure that they get introduced tomorrow, and then they can hang out at the party! She has to be totally stunning when they hang out, and Jonathon is going to help Jace learn how to talk to girls, while I teach Clary all about boys and shopping, it's going to be great tomorrow. I realize that I should probably go tell Jace, just so he has some time to prepare himself both mentally and physically. I get up and go to his room so I can tell him, I don't hear any music so that is probably where he is. When I reach his room I knock on the door and listen for his response, he tells me to come in so I open the door and walk into his room.

"Hey Izzy what's up?" He says

"Why do people always assume that something is up when I talk to them?" UGH I mean seriously? He just asked the same thing as Jonathon, why? I talk to Jace.

" Er- Well Izzy I don't know who else you're talking about, but I asked that because it is kinda late, it's 12:00, and we normally don't talk this late, plus you look like you have something urgent or important to tell me, so out with it."

"Okay, you want me to be blunt, I'll be blunt. Everyone is leaving the house tomorrow and you know that you aren't allowed to be home by yourself, so I made plans."

"Plans Izzy what plans?"

"In the morning you are going to wake up and get yourself ready. We are going to go over to my friend Jonathon's house and you are going to chill with him and he is going to teach you some stuff while I take his little sister out shopping and give her a makeover for that night-"

"A makeover? Izzy why would she need a makeover?"

"Because Jace, we are having a party tomorrow night at their house, and you have to go, and she is one of the hosts so she has to look amazing! Now, prepare yourself and be ready in the morning because we are leaving at 8."

With that I turn and I walk back into my room, I'm going to need every minute of the 5 hours of sleep that I can get.

The next morning

I drag myself out of bed at 5AM wondering what is so important on a Saturday that I had to wake myself up this early. I jump in the shower purely out of instinct because I know I wouldn't wake up this early if it wasn't important. After my shower I'm still tired so I decide to go downstairs to get some coffee and I realized that it was oddly silent for this being my house. Normally at least Alec is awake doing his workouts. Sometimes Jace is awake with Alec working out with him, but that isn't often. As I reach the kitchen and start to make the coffee in the Mr. Coffee, but when I thought of Jace something triggers my memory but I can't remember what, then I remember that everyone except for Jace and I are going to be out of the house today. AHA! That's it! I'm taking Jace over to Jonathon's today, while I take Clary shopping and give her a makeover for the party tonight! This makeover has to be perfect too, because Clary and Jace are meant for each other and I can just feel it and they are hanging out at the party! Jace can't be sleeping! He has to let me get him ready too!

I take my cup of coffee with me and go upstairs until I reach the floor with the boys bedrooms on it. I basically have my own floor because I have a room that is actually my closet because of my amount of clothes, my dancing studio, my makeup room, and my personal movie room for when I want to watch movies with my friends that stay the night, or for when I just want to watch a movie that the rest of them don't want to watch. We have 2 guest rooms up here and still about 5 rooms that don't really have anything in them since I'm the only one on this floor.

I pound on his door, everyone else is already gone, and so I can't wake anyone else up. "Jace! Wake up and open this door now! Hurry up! Jace!"

The door suddenly opens; I guess I didn't hear him coming to open it. I almost fall forward. I look up and I see Jace smirking at me, he obviously found this funny. "Hurry up and shower, I need to get you ready." I say in my no nonsense voice, which obviously didn't work on him.

"Get me ready for what exactly?"

"You're meeting my friend and his sister today, and it's going to be the first time that you've talked to someone your age in a really long time, so you need to make a good impression."

"Izzy, all of your friends are a year older than me."

"I know that, but there still is going to be one person your age."

"Who is that exactly?"

"Jonathon's little sister is your age, and you are going to meet her so no more whining or questioning, go shower and let me pick out your clothes."

"Okay fine."

 **Jace POV**

At first the only thing I can think is thank goodness my closet is the room next to my bedroom, or else this would never work. I sigh and I walk into my shower, why was my family suddenly so into me meeting other people? I decide to take a longer shower because Izzy is going to no doubt need the time to put my outfit together with as picky as she is. After about 20 minutes in the shower I decide that she has had enough time and get out and dry off. A note has been slid under my door and I look at it and see that it is from Izzy telling me that she is going to be in the hallway for when I get changed, and that the clothes I will be wearing are on my bed. I wrap my towel around my waist and go to change. I see that she has given me a white v-neck with my black leather jacket that she got me a year ago. She has also given my dark wash jeans and white converse to wear. I put these on and go out to see what else she has in store for me, I mean seriously I'm a dude, how much could she have. When she sees me she looks me up and down, I assume deciding if she wants to change anything.

"I approve, now let's do your hair." I follow her to her room where she blow dries my hair and then brushes it so that it looks messy but in a good way. She sprayed some texturizing spray in it; at least that is what she told me it was. She then sent me downstairs and told me not to mess up my hair or clothes. I say okay and then leave. I decide on watching a movie while I wait for her to get ready, I watch _Corpse Bride._ She finally comes down dressed in her normal shopping style, which is shorts, high heels, and a crop top. She grabs her keys and gestures for me to follow, I do. We get in her car and drive in silence until she tells me to make a good impression on this girl, because it would make mom and dad happy. I prepare myself once again before we walk to the door and wait for them to answer. I don't really look at the boy that answers and invites us inside. Once we are inside we get introduced and all that I can see is that there is a girl with fire red hair and emerald green eyes, she is beautiful. With a shock I realize that she is the girl that I saw when I was trying to imagine what my dream girl would look like. Jonathon introduces her as Clary and then she leaves with Izzy. At least I know that I will see her tonight.


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey guys… I'm really terribly sorry for taking so long to post. I could give you a lot of excuses but I know that you probably won't really care for excuses, I never did when I would read fanfiction. I want to thank the readers that have been there and have been reading this story since the beginning and that always review. Please review, they do encourage me to not give up on this story. If you have any questions feel free to ask them in a review or you can PM me. Also let me know if there is anything that you want to see happen in the story and I will see what I can do to fit it into the story!**

 **Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, I don't own anything. Sadly.**

My Hidden Self

Chapter 7 Lessons part 1

Clary POV

I walk out of my house with Isabelle. I'm suddenly realizing how weird this all is. Jonathon has been hanging out with this girl for years, and she hasn't ever acted like she had an interest in me at all, none of his friends ever have. Then some random day I get told that I have to dress completely against how I normally dress and have to let some stranger in a crop top take me shopping. When I look at her closer I realize Jonathon was right, she was wearing a black, tight, crop top with a short, tight, black skirt, along with black heels that look like death traps to me. The only thing that I can think right now though is why this girl is suddenly taking an interest in me, and why her golden haired brother seems familiar.

I'm still thinking of those two things as I follow Isabelle out of the car. I'm trying so hard to remember why the Golden boy seems familiar… wait Golden boy? Why do I remember calling someone or something that before. I don't really hang out with anyone so I reason that it had to be a drawing that I've done before, maybe from a dream, I usually don't draw people from imagination, only places or things. I decide to focus on that later, I have the problem of shopping with Isabelle, and I don't really think that's something that I'm going to love. We ride in silence as I try to think about what to expect from todays trip, and what's to come after the trip. When we got about halfway there I realized that she had been talking.

"So, Isabelle, how many stores exactly are you planning to look at?" We just parked in the parking lot, and the entire drive she was doing nothing but talking about a ton of different stores that she wanted to go to.

"First of all, call me Izzy, not Isabelle okay?"

"Yeah, sorry Izzy."

"Okay, and as for your question, only about 15-20. We need to go to Sephora to get you some makeup and brushes that we can use on you. We need to go to Sally's beauty supply to get hair products so we can style your hair…"

She was going on and on naming all of the stores that we would have to go to and why we need to go to them before I stopped her. " Uh- Izzy I don't really have enough money for all of that, do you think maybe we could cut out a few things?"

"Clary, today is my first day meeting you and I have a feeling that we are going to be great friends. I want today to be my treat to you, don't worry about the costs, I've got it covered. Now let's go, I only have today to take you shopping for the party, teach you basics for parties, and get you ready for the party."

I got out of the car and followed her, 'I hope this is quick, but for some reason with Izzy I doubt it will be.' I thought. First she started rather simply, and too me to hair and makeup and we worked our way up from there without much to be concerned about because I didn't know what half of the stuff was. It was only when we got to the dress and shoe shops that I noticed that she was kind of talking about how she wanted us to look and, when I started to listen to what she was saying, I got worried. She was talking about what colors and materials she should put me in. She told me that she wanted me to try on different colors first so she could decide what colors looked best on me and I wasn't in the mood to argue so I took the large amount of dresses she pushed at me and went into the changing room. When I try the first dress on, which is blue, I realize that she also gave me different materials, but it was likely that they would all be tight. I tried on dress after dress until she finally decided that green is the color that looks best on me. She told me to wait here while she picked out a dress for me to wear tonight.

"Wait, don't I get to choose what dress I get to wear though?"

"Maybe some other time, but tonight is your first party and your one of the hostess's so you have to look perfect, and I haven't exactly been able to get a good idea of your fashion tastes and what kind of stuff you would pick to wear tonight if you had the choice, but I think I'll learn that soon enough."

"But the dress you pick… It's going to be all green right, it isn't going to have another color?"

"It might have some gold or silver in it too, and jewels maybe, but it isn't going to have any pink or anything if that's what your asking."

"Why green though? I thought that the official party clothes color was black?"

"That's what most people think, but green complements you, it goes well with you emerald eyes and fire red hair. Your complexion is so pale that if we put you in black tonight, you might look like a vampire or something."

"Wait, so you're saying that I shouldn't have worn black today?"

"I don't think I would've if I were you, but Jonathon says that these are the only clothes that you have that I would have approved of."

"Oh, okay."

"So I'm going to go pick out your dress, you stay here or meet me up the by cashier."

When she was out of sight I went up by the cashier and waited. I don't really know how long it was before she came back up, but when she did she brought a dress that was hidden in a garment bag. She quickly paid and then took me to the rest of the stores that she said were necessary in order for my outfit for tonight to be complete. She always shooed me away when she was getting ready to start actually looking for me though, so I have no Idea what she is planning in putting me in tonight, but something tells me that if I argued, I wouldn't get very far.

We made small talk a lot between the stores and the only time that I questioned why we were going to the shop we were going to was when she pulled me into Victoria's Secret.

"Wait, why do we need to go in here?" I asked as she pulled me through the door. I'm gradually getting more and more comfortable with her and let my attitude show a little.

"You have to have a certain kind of bra and underwear for the dress I bought you, now what size are you?"

I mumble my answer and she goes off to get the 'special underwear' for this dress. What kind of dress needs special underwear? When I see her go up to the cash register it looks like she has a lot more than a bra and pair of underwear in her hands. She comes back and I question her again. "What is all of that?"

"Oh, just some other things you needed for your outfit."

" and why exactly am I going to need those things for my outfit"

"You'll just have to wait and see" She says with a smirk mischievous glint in her feyes… I don't like the looks of that. "Okay so we have to take all of this stuff out to the car, and then we are going to my favorite salon to get our nails done."

"Why can't we just paint them back at the house?"

"Trust me, we need to get them done here."

About 30 minutes later we had everything loaded and we were at the salon. I didn't really pay any attention to the name of it, I'm sure I'll be told what it is inside. We walk in and the receptionist greets Izzy by name, so she must be a regular here.

"Izzy are you here for you nails again? And who is this you've brought?"

"Yes, Aline, we are here for our nails, and this is Clary, Jonathon's little sister."

"Alright, follow me and I'll take you two back to the nail station."

We follow Aline back to the nail station and Izzy tells the nail techs that we just want something quick and simple, that it's for a party, and that we still need artificial nails. She had my nails painted green and silver, so I'm assuming that those are the colors of my dress. Of course they didn't paint them until after they were done scratching and gluing fake nails onto my real ones. When we are done Izzy pays and I begin to feel immensely guilty because she has spent a lot of money on me, and I've done nothing for her. She refuses to take any of the money that I try to give her though and won't let me pay for anything so I vow to myself that I will make it up to her whenever I get the chance.

When we get out to the car she hands me these gloves that I didn't see her buy and told me to put them on.

"Why?"

"Because, the boys can't see them until the party, and so you can't accidently scratch your nail polish."

"Where are your gloves?"

"I don't need them, I always go and get my nails done. I'm used to the length, though you aren't."

"Why can't the boys see my nails?"

"Because everything about you has to be a surprise, it's your first party, nobody knows what to expect of you, you have to surprise them and make an amazing first impression."

She comets to a stop in front of a house I don't recognize, "Uh- Izzy where are we?"

"Oh we're at my house, we have to run inside and get some bags so that the boys don't know where we went to buy stuff for your outfit."

We walk inside and I immediately gasp in awe of the building, it's absolutely gorgeous.

"Okay, so my room is upstairs, we have to go grab the bags. Ready?"

"what? Oh yeah sure." I follow her upstairs and try to stop gasping at everything. When we reach the door that she shows me we walk in and grab a few big tote bags. We go back out to the car and she puts everything in the tote bags while I wait in the car, she still won't let me see what all she bought for me to wear.

We drive back to my house and she refuses to let me carry anything in, she just tells me to wait inside so I can show her my room. I go inside and wait by the door, I realize that I still have my heels on so I take them off and go to tell Jonathon that we're back. I heard someone in the kitchen so that's the first place I went to look for him. When I get in there I see not Jonathon, but the golden boy. I flush at my forgetfulness, I forgot that he would be here. I'm about to introduce myself to him when I hear Izzy yell for me. "Clary! Get in here and show me where your room is these bags are heavy!" I take one last look at the golden boy before I rush off to show Izzy to my room.

 **Jace POV**

I was taking a break from my 'lessons' with Jonathon to go downstairs and get a snack, we haven't eaten since that morning, but I doubt that the girls have eaten anything. I can't get the girl with the fire red hair and emerald green eyes out of my mind, I don't even know her name, but yet I'm constantly thinking about her. I hear a door open behind me and assume that the girls are back from whatever Izzy decided to take them to do. Suddenly the redheaded girl comes into the kitchen and looks at me with what appears to be shock, she was probably expecting her brother to be in here, not me. She stares at me while I try to scrounge up the bravery to ask her what her name is, but before I get the chance I hear Izzy calling for her, she looks at me for one last moment before she runs back to Izzy. All I know is that she is beautiful, and that not knowing her or her name is driving me crazy, I want to meet her, and to talk to her. And tonight is the night that it's going to happen, it has to happen tonight.


	9. note

hey guys I'm so sorry for not updating, I haven't really had time, and that's a really lame excuse, nut yeah. basically if you want me to continue this story let me know, I know sometimes if a story isn't updated for a while people loose interest, so let me know if you want me to keep going.


	10. chapter 8 part 1

**I know I told you guys that I would keep writing, and it took a while, but I'm back! I hope you guys haven't decided to give up on this story because of me taking so long to update, or some of the inconsistencies that even I have noticed in the story. I'm going to try to update once a week now instead of trying to update once a day like I used to. Sorry about that, but I think that might have been part of the reason that I got burnt out and stopped writing for a while. Let me know in the reviews what you think of the story, and if you have any suggestions for it. I don't have a Beta, so you'll have to bear with me as far as grammar goes, sorry about that. I am, however, going to be looking for a Beta, so if you are one and would like to Beta this story let me know! Without further ado- onto the good stuff! ~Bookmaniac12**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or any of the aspects and characters of TMI. The only thing I own are my own ideas.**

 **My Hidden Self**

Chapter 8

Clary POV:

 _When Izzy and I get back to my house, she doesn't let me carry any of the bags as she doesn't want to risk me seeing what's in them. I decide to look for Jonathon to tell him I'm home when I hear a sound in the kitchen and assume that is where he is. When I get there, I see not Jonathon, but the golden boy. I flush at my forgetfulness, I forgot he would be here. I'm about to introduce myself to him when I hear Izzy yell for me. "Clary! Get in here and show me where your room is, these bags are heavy!" I take one last look at the Golden boy before I rush off to show Izzy my room._

When I got to the door again where Izzy was, I was shocked by the look on her face. I don't know how I was expecting her to look, annoyed maybe? It certainly wasn't what I was met with. Izzy looked happy, excited, and like she knows something I don't. "Uhh… Izzy, are you okay? I don't think most people would be happy or excited when they're kept waiting…"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just happy that you seem to be okay around me, you're talking and even saying what's on your mind at times, and I'm excited to help you get ready for your first ever party!"

I still think that the way she is acting is weird, really weird, but I just met her today, so I'm going to try not to judge, she might always be like this, having different reactions from everyone else. She might just be one of those people that look on the bright side of everything. So I just say, "Oh, okay. Well are you ready to go up to my room? Those bags do look kind of heavy."

"Oh, yes please!" I look back towards the kitchen once more before walking up the stairs. I stop once I reach the top to think about something that just occurred to me. The only people that had ever been in my room is my mom and Jonathon, Luke has seen it a few times but he hasn't ever actually been in it before. I glance back at Izzy trying to decide if I was really going to show her my room or if I should just take her to one of the guest rooms. Then I think back to the day that we've had so far. She was making an effort to get to know me. She seems like she generally wants to help me, for this party at least. Maybe she even wants to be friends after this, I don't know as I'm not really that good with people. I try to hurry up and think because I know that all of that stuff she is carrying is really heavy, and I don't want to make her hold it longer then necessary seeing as she has already done so much for me today. I decide that I can let her see my room, because if she does want to be my friend she would see it eventually, anyways right? If she doesn't want to be my friend, then she won't come back and I won't have to worry about her anyways. I quickly lead her to the correct door and open it. As I'm getting ready to walk in she stops me. "Oh, hang on Clary!"

"What? Did you drop something or do you need me to take some of the bags or something?"

"Oh, no, I just want to get some of the stuff set out and ready, but I don't want you to see the other stuff still in the bags, why don't you run downstairs and grab yourself a drink or a snack, and I'll come back down when everything is ready." She says all of this somehow with a reassuring smile.

"Okay." With that I turn and I head back downstairs. I walk back into the kitchen to get some drinks for Izzy and I, thinking that we are going to be upstairs for a while and would need drinks, if she let me drink. She seems like the kind of person that does makeovers hard core when she does them. I walk into the kitchen with my head down and automatically reach for the cups. I set the cups down before I feel his eyes on me, then I look up. Sure enough, I see his golden orbs watching me. I quickly look away and go to the fridge to get us some water, still feeling his eyes on me. When I pour the water and get ready to walk away he speaks up. "Clary?"

I turn around and look at him. "Yes?"

"Good luck with Isabelle, she can seem a little… crazy at times when she is doing makeovers, but she means well."

"Er- thanks." I turn and walk away, scolding myself silently for talking like an idiot. This kid is trying to make an effort. He started the conversation, not me. If this kid wants to be friends, then it probably wouldn't be an awful thing to try, would it? I stop contemplating this as I go back up the stairs and into my room, assuming that she will just tell me if she isn't ready. She doesn't seem to notice me at first, so I clear my throat to let her know that I'm here, she jumps and turns around.

"Oh, Clary! I just finished getting everything set up. You ready to start?" I nod and hand her a glass of water before steeling myself, getting ready for what is sure to be the longest makeover I will ever go through.

 **Okay, this isn't the complete chapter, I'm just posting this so that you guys know I'm still here, I haven't died, and that I'm still going to write this story. I'm so sorry that this took so long to get up, but I've been busy, not that that's an excuse. Hopefully I'll have the rest of this chapter up within a week. As always Review please! I really love to know what you guys think of my writing and my ideas, and if you guys have any ideas, so let me know in a review!**


	11. Chapter 8

**I know I told you guys that I would keep writing, and it took a while, but I'm back! I hope you guys haven't decided to give up on this story because of me taking so long to update, or some of the inconsistencies that even I have noticed in the story. I'm going to try to update once a week now instead of trying to update once a day like I used to. Sorry about that, but I think that might have been part of the reason that I got burnt out and stopped writing for a while. Let me know in the reviews what you think of the story, and if you have any suggestions for it. I don't have a Beta, so you'll have to bear with me as far as grammar goes, sorry about that. I am, however, going to be looking for a Beta, so if you are one and would like to Beta this story let me know! Without further ado- onto the good stuff! ~Bookmaniac12**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or any of the aspects and characters of TMI. The only thing I own are my own ideas.**

 **My Hidden Self**

Chapter 8

Clary POV:

 _When Izzy and I get back to my house, she doesn't let me carry any of the bags as she doesn't want to risk me seeing what's in them. I decide to look for Jonathon to tell him I'm home when I hear a sound in the kitchen and assume that is where he is. When I get there, I see not Jonathon, but the golden boy. I flush at my forgetfulness, I forgot he would be here. I'm about to introduce myself to him when I hear Izzy yell for me. "Clary! Get in here and show me where your room is, these bags are heavy!" I take one last look at the Golden boy before I rush off to show Izzy my room._

When I got to the door again where Izzy was, I was shocked by the look on her face. I don't know how I was expecting her to look, annoyed maybe? It certainly wasn't what I was met with. Izzy looked happy, excited, and like she knows something I don't. "Uhh… Izzy, are you okay? I don't think most people would be happy or excited when they're kept waiting…"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just happy that you seem to be okay around me, you're talking and even saying what's on your mind at times, and I'm excited to help you get ready for your first ever party!"

I still think that the way she is acting is weird, really weird, but I just met her today, so I'm going to try not to judge, she might always be like this, having different reactions from everyone else. She might just be one of those people that look on the bright side of everything. So I just say, "Oh, okay. Well are you ready to go up to my room? Those bags do look kind of heavy."

"Oh, yes please!" I look back towards the kitchen once more before walking up the stairs. I stop once I reach the top to think about something that just occurred to me. The only people that had ever been in my room is my mom and Jonathon, Luke has seen it a few times but he hasn't ever actually been in it before. I glance back at Izzy trying to decide if I was really going to show her my room or if I should just take her to one of the guest rooms. Then I think back to the day that we've had so far. She was making an effort to get to know me. She seems like she generally wants to help me, for this party at least. Maybe she even wants to be friends after this, I don't know as I'm not really that good with people. I try to hurry up and think because I know that all of that stuff she is carrying is really heavy, and I don't want to make her hold it longer then necessary seeing as she has already done so much for me today. I decide that I can let her see my room, because if she does want to be my friend she would see it eventually, anyways right? If she doesn't want to be my friend, then she won't come back and I won't have to worry about her anyways. I quickly lead her to the correct door and open it. As I'm getting ready to walk in she stops me. "Oh, hang on Clary!"

"What? Did you drop something or do you need me to take some of the bags or something?"

"Oh, no, I just want to get some of the stuff set out and ready, but I don't want you to see the other stuff still in the bags, why don't you run downstairs and grab yourself a drink or a snack, and I'll come back down when everything is ready." She says all of this somehow with a reassuring smile.

"Okay." With that I turn and I head back downstairs. I walk back into the kitchen to get some drinks for Izzy and I, thinking that we are going to be upstairs for a while and would need drinks, if she let me drink. She seems like the kind of person that does makeovers hard core when she does them. I walk into the kitchen with my head down and automatically reach for the cups. I set the cups down before I feel his eyes on me, then I look up. Sure enough, I see his golden orbs watching me. I quickly look away and go to the fridge to get us some water, still feeling his eyes on me. When I pour the water and get ready to walk away he speaks up. "Clary?"

I turn around and look at him. "Yes?"

"Good luck with Isabelle, she can seem a little… crazy at times when she is doing makeovers, but she means well."

"Er- thanks." I turn and walk away, scolding myself silently for talking like an idiot. This kid is trying to make an effort. He started the conversation, not me. If this kid wants to be friends, then it probably wouldn't be an awful thing to try, would it? I stop contemplating this as I go back up the stairs and into my room, assuming that she will just tell me if she isn't ready. She doesn't seem to notice me at first, so I clear my throat to let her know that I'm here, she jumps and turns around.

"Oh, Clary! I just finished getting everything set up. You ready to start?" I nod and hand her a glass of water before steeling myself, getting ready for what is sure to be the longest makeover I will ever go through.

 ******New Part starts here******

The first thing that she does is hand me a dressing robe that she bought and tells me to put it on, that way when I get changed into my dress later, I won't have to try to not mess my hair up. When I go to change into the robe she tells me to not snoop in any of the bags she has in the bathroom. I nod and go change into the robes. When I walk back out she starts working on my hair, but I'm not really THAT interested in what she is doing so I just retreat into my thoughts. Wondering why Jonathon is making me do this party, why Isabelle is being so nice to me and why I started to open up to her so quickly, even if it's just a little bit. Most importantly I wonder why that boy downstairs looks so familiar. Have I seen him before? Surely not, I'm certain that I'd remember him if I did. I continue my thoughts while I'm being poked and pulled by Isabelle. I vaugley hear her say that she is finished with my hair and instructs me to close my eyes while she does my make-up. I can feel the brushes sweeping across my face and slightly tickling me, but pay them no attention. If I hadn't meet the boy downstairs before then why does he seem so familiar? Maybe I briefly saw him at the store? Maybe I've seen a picture of him somewhere? All that seems unlikely. I must have seen him at a store somewhere. There isn't really any other explanation. I'm jolted out of my thoughts by Isabelle once again, but this time she is telling me that it is time for me to get dressed, and that she will be right back. I walk into my bathroom and distractedly put on all of the clothing and undergarments that she has put in there, once again to lost in my thoughts to really notice what I'm putting on. I walk back out and Izzy hands me the shoes. That shocks me out of my thoughtful state. The shoes…. They are silver strappy stiletto heels; the heels must be at least 5 inches tall.

"Izzy?" I ask, remembering that she prefers to be called that shortened version of her name.

"Yes?" She turns around and looks at me, seemingly genuinely curious about what's wrong with the shoes that she just handed me.

"Don't you think those heels are a little tall?"

She glances at the shoes and then back at me, "No, why? I actually thought that they were a little on the short side, but they just go so perfect with the rest of your outfit."

"Izzy, these shoes are death traps, if I wear them I'm sure to fall, down the stairs maybe."

"hmm… John did say that you weren't used to walking in heels… how about you put them on and practice walking around in them. Then your less likely to fall during the party. I'm sure that someone will be there to catch you if you fall during the party anyways. Just don't mess up your hair, or makeup, or nails, or dress, or… well anything."

"Wait, what do you mean someone will be there to catch me if I fall during the party?" I ask, wondering what would make her say something like that, and trying to get all the information so that I will truly be able to know what she means.

"Oh. I just meant that this party is for you, and you look amazing, just stick with the people you have good feelings about, and I'm sure that they won't let you fall. Now get practicing with those heels, I have to get myself ready for the party, I'll come back and get you when it's time." And with that, she walked out of the room, leaving me to stumble around in these death traps, and wonder what she really meant by that sentence, I caught the hesitation she had before she answered. I walk and think until I realize that I'm not stumbling anymore, that I'm actually walking somewhat gracefully, and that I have no idea what I look like right now or what to expect from tonight. I walk into my bathroom hoping to look in the mirror, only to see that for some, unknown reason, Izzy covered it up. I decide to just keep walking while I wait for her to come and get me, so that I can try to convince her to explain her reasons for covering up my mirror.

 **I'm sorry, I know that the new part is really short, but I wanted it to end there so that the next chapter can be about the party. I promise to update as soon as I can, with in the week. As always please review, and tell me what you think of it!**


	12. sorry

I'm really sorry to say this to you all... but I'm going to work on a rewrite for this story. I'm not happy with the way that it's written and I'm going to try to write several chapters before posting. That being said I want to thank all of the people that reviewed on this story and I will post an authors note when I have the first chapter of the new story posted. I hope you will all read the new version when it is posted, and again I'm very sorry.


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